Monday, 4 January 2016

Time.

I had a really weird 2015.

I spent majority of the year accomplishing a lot of great things, and I was expecting it to finish on a huge high. I graduated, I went on my dream holiday, and I landed my first big girl job for a brand I love.

A really small period of time right at the end of the year threw a number of really unfortunate events my way and that was it, in a matter of weeks what had the potential to be the best year of my life transformed into the worst just like that.

The outcome? I'm terrified that I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I'm scared that any happiness I feel is going to be short lived, and in a sense I want to get any of the potential pain that I'm aware I may experience in the future out of the way quickly so that I can stop worrying. But I've come to realise that with that thought I'm doing nothing but wishing away time. Time that is so valuable and precious and has the potential to hold great moments as well as bad.

I realised another thing about time recently, it doesn't stop when you want it to, for bad times nor good. To savour, to ponder, or to allow you to gather your thoughts, it selfishly keeps going. There was a short while when I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed for what felt like forever, but I didn't have forever, I had a couple short days then life resumed again. With that on my mind I face two paths. I can sit, wallow, and worry about life, or I can savour every little thing that makes me happy.

So, yes, I'm very, very scared of time. But I'm also much more aware of it, and the fact that it goes really, really fast. What will happen this year is out of my hands, all I can do is try my best to savour the good situations and not to fear the bad.

I feel like I'm coming across as an emotional wreck, I'm not I promise. My head is too full for me to handle at the moment so I'm finding that writing what I'm thinking is a useful way of processing what's going on, and keeping me sane. This whole blog thing is still relatively new to me, but I'm enjoying using it as an outlet to share my thoughts. If you choose to read them, thank you x






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8 comments

  1. Time can an arch enemy of ours, but we need to try and don't let it crush us. We have to enjoy the little moments.
    Loved reading this post, Bethany :) x

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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  2. I understand what you mean. But my 2015 was inverted. Something terrible happened in the early half of 2015, that made it the worst year even though I had accomplished so much later on. It just makes you scared of what will happen, and it's okay to be scared. But I think we should hope for the best. Sometimes optimism is the best thing to do <3

    xx Bash | H E Y   B A S H | bloglovin'

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  3. Great post! BTW, I'm in love with your photo, it's just lovely! The shirt and the watch are stunning (:
    Have a great day,
    Madalena

    www.maadalenaaa.blogspot.com

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  4. I'm sorry to hear a series of difficult events ended 2015 for you, though I love your attitude towards it now - 'savour the good and don't fear the bad' is a great motto to live by! I hope 2016 will be kinder to you all the same (and until the very end!) :)

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice
    x

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  5. 2015 was obviously difficult for you, but your positivity still shined through your blog from my point of view!
    -Morgan x
    http://justmorgs.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. I don't think you came across at all like an emotional wreck in this post, in fact I think you spoke some very wise words...Because of similar worries I find myself trying to live in the moment as much as possible and I really do cherish and appreciate every good moment for that reason. It's good to be aware of time and the fact that anything can happen because I guess it is what helps you to savour the good situations.

    Wishing you the best in 2016 and I hope it brings you happiness and many good moments.

    Samio
    www.samio.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post. x

    www.themakeupaficionado.com

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